Thanks to some excellent advice from a good friend I’ve been thinking about the difference between capability and capacity.
Knowing the difference helps me to choose what I can take on and what I have to politely decline.
It’s really hard to see yourself as no longer capable when Fibromyalgia puts the brakes on your life.
If you’re like me and you’ve always been capable or high achieving at work, or in any role which is outcome driven, this will be tough.
If you’ve always been ‘everything to everybody’, this will be tough.
If you have achieved things that you are proud of, but can no longer do, this will be tough.
It’s especially hard if your identity has been tied up in those capabilities or achievements.
I was incredibly career driven – a teacher for over 30 years, I’d written exams, curriculum standards, advised teachers in my subject area and taught new teachers their craft. The very definition of capable! Letting all that go was tough & I’ve had to re-learn what is important to me.
Turns out what’s important isn’t my achievements, it’s the things I value the most – connection, family, creativity, helping others – and having the capacity to do those things is vital. I’m taking more quiet time (hello jigsaws puzzles) between ‘doing’ to just ‘be’.
Capacity is changeable and fluid
I always assess how I’m feeling before I decide whether I can do something. When assessing my capacity I work out how taxing whatever I’m asking of myself will be, physically, emotionally and mentally. I also think about how doing it might affect me down the track.
AND I always remind myself that my capabilities have not changed – I’m just choosing to apply my skills in different ways, or saying, no thank-you, when it needs to be said.
If what you’ve read today resonates with you & you are wondering about what working with a Fibromyalgia coach would be like, we can meet for a chat. I’d love to explain how I can support you! You can book in for a chat here.